I need sleep

It’s just a few minutes before it is time to go to bed. I’m tired but I have had a few restless nights.

I was reading an article that was talking about sleep problems with people with Muscular Dystrophy. (That’s me.)

In this article by researchers at the University of Washington’s Aging Rehabilitation Research and Training Center:

  • They were talking about the physical issues such as breathing. Or just plain pain contributing to lack of sleeping.
  • Another reason, is that medications disrupt the sleep cycle and prohibits a good night sleep.
  • Finally, anxiety, or a racing mind, is responsible for giving us with MD a shorter total sleep time.

Wow. They were describing me to a T.

Being disabled, and needing nurses to put me to bed, I have to go to bed at a specific time. I have a specific aide, let’s call him “Muscles”, who’s job it is to lift me out of my chair and put me to bed.

Once I am in bed and settled for the night, then, the mind games begin!

I can’t move. And I am facing the toughest part of the day. Being alone with my thoughts.

This is the time where my mind will race. And the porn addict in me would like to put thoughts in my head.

But I have learned that this is the time spend listening to sermons, Christian music, and the audible bible. It has taken time. But I am getting better at it.

But there are times that I still can’t sleep. The article says it is natural for me to have trouble.

(Please don’t tell me to take long deep breathes. My ventilator goes only one speed.)

I can’t sleep because I live in this imperfect world.

But God is not of this world. God has another list he wants me to read and remember.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

“When you lie down, you will not be afraid, when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” (Proverbs 3:24)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble, therefore we will not fear…Be still, and know that I am God…the Lord Almighty is with us.” (Psalm 46:1-2, 10-11)

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:8)

Please pray with me. I need sleep.


3 thoughts on “I need sleep

  1. Well, we have a little bit in common. I have struggled with sleep issues for a very, very long time. It started years ago when one of my family members brutally murdered two other of my family members. I was eight at the time. My sleep patterns were horrible after that. I had insomnia so much throughout my life. Just wide awake. I know that feeling, it is so not fun! After finding the Lord, it got much better, not the sleep part, but the peace part because I would listen to the Word or like you, listen to sermons. I have a feeling that my insomnia, is kind of like what Paul said, a “thorn in the side”, it keeps me humble. LOL! I still have it, but not as frequent, but it doesn’t bother me anymore as much because I am retired now and my schedule is very flexible. When I was reading your piece, I thought wow… we have something in common, you probably understand completely the frustration of I NEED SLEEP… I can’t imagine though not being able to move, you are amazing, the things you “grow through”, you inspire me. Hope you get some sleep. Hope I do too. LOL!

    1. I am starting to not get as frustrated with insomnia. It seems like frustration with it makes sleeping even harder to get. I have to remind myself that it will pass. Eventually I am able to get a good sleep pattern for a week or two before more insomnia. I can understand how your experience would make it difficult to sleep. Thank you for sharing.

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